my story, my reason, my why

My first experience as a pregnant woman was being told by a physician that despite 7 positive pregnancy tests, my HCG levels were already dropping - which meant my pregnancy had not "stuck" and therefore did not count. I miscarried fully a few hours later at home, fully believing that I did not have the right to mourn an 8 week pregnancy based off the interaction with that doctor.​

 

During the height of the COVID pandemic, I gave birth to my first son at 36 weeks pregnant. I went through multiple levels of induction without fully understanding the purpose or impact of the intervention methods on myself or my baby. All birthing classes offered by my OB/GYN and hospital had been cancelled, and no one cared enough about me as a birthing person to talk through my options. The end result was a week long NICU stay, debilitating PPA/PPD, and a difficult breastfeeding journey.

 

​I actively searched for a different experience with my second pregnancy, and found my perfect fit at a birthing center in Fort Worth. Despite having midwives I connected with on a personal level, and a community that made me feel empowered and safe, I went into spontaneous pre-term labor and ended up at the ER. I was violated, sexually assaulted, and endured multiple interventions without and directly against my consent by a medical team with no experience in labor/delivery. Weeks went by before I was able to mentally process what had happened to me, despite having two support people with me the entire night.​

 

After a redemptive and healing birth four and a half weeks later, I began researching what I had experienced as part of a therapy exercise - and what I found shook my very foundation in the medical system. I discovered I was apart of a community I didn't even know existed - the community of birth and maternal health trauma.​

 

While working through the trauma I had endured, I found an outlet for my passion to help others. I discovered a need within myself to keep birth as personal and sacred as possible, while working to prevent what happened to me from happening to others. I partnered with Tarrant County and the TrustHer organization, and became a certified doula through the Paradigm Doula Training Program in 2024.